Egg is spelled...

I'm not much of an egg person. At brunch, when everyone else is debating the merits of scrambled, poached, and sunny side up, I'm usually ordering a ham sandwich.

I like the idea of eggs. They are certainly the star of most breakfast menus. When I see lovely plates of huevos rancheros and eggs Benedict sailing around a restaurant, I feel a trace of envy. But when I try them, I often feel a little sick. So, I generally avoid them.

Once in awhile I will eat eggs when I make a salad at home, hardboiled. But recently I've been having trouble cooking them right. If I'm going to eat an egg, I like it when the yolk is just done and remains a dark, almost marigold color. For some reason, I can't seem to get this right. Sometimes I crack open the shell and the white at one end has disappeared. Sometimes I boil them too long and the yolk turns out pale and powdery. I've started the egg in the water; added the egg into boiling water. Fussed with the number of minutes. Let them cool; peeled them right away. They never turn out right, which is only making me more anti-egg than ever.

The other way I occasionally eat eggs is when I don't feel well. If you think this is weird, that I would eat something that generally makes me sick when I actually am sick, you are not alone. I can't explain it, but when I have a cold I will make very softly scrambled eggs and eat them out of a little dish with a spoon. Maybe because my mom used to make them that way when I was little. Maybe there's something Proustian in it. Who knows.

I guess it's just not in my genes to have a positive relationship with eggs. My dad spent most of his adult life fretting about cholesterol and ditching eggs in favor of oat bran. My sister never liked them much either and ended up having a kid that was allergic to them. And, in first grade, my mother was in a spelling contest, in which the final moment came down to her and one other child. The word was "egg"...which my mother proceeded to spell "a-g-g." Maybe the future was written right then.

In any case, I'd certainly like to know how to boil one, just out of pride. So if someone has the trick, let me know.